We're making progress!

Today, we feel like the ball is finally rolling. Late yesterday evening, we received an email stating that our social worker should contact us soon to set up our interviews for the homestudy. We were very excited to receive this news. They said that the process normally takes 8 to 10 weeks (counting from yesterday's date). Today, on my 4th trip to our doctor's office, I believe we have all of our physical forms completed and notarized properly, along with our letters from our doctor. I'm going to scan a bunch of our dossier documents (employer letter, birth certificates, marriage certificate, physical exams, letters from our doctor, and one of our reference letters) and send them to our coordinator for approval. I'm praying that we get an all clear on these documents and can start on the next "chunk" of paperwork.

Sean received notice yesterday that he has to write a letter of repentance for his two speeding tickets that showed up on his county criminal background check (one was 10 years ago). In his letter, he has to show deep remorse, state why he was speeding, and explain what he has learned from these encounters and that how is has not, nor will not, happen again. My one speeding ticket and a few more for Sean didn't show up on the county check. We're thinking we may wait for our FBI clearances to come back and then see what all we need to write about. I'm sure my mom is beaming with the knowledge that I have to write a letter of repentance (I still hear about that ticket occasionally). You all never knew that we were such criminals, did you???

This whole experience is really humbling me. I have felt like I can relate pretty well to all that my families are going through, since we have adopted before. Sean and I have total peace about God's timing and are okay whenever we receive our child, but all of this going back and forth for this paperwork is a test in patience. I guess I need to hurry up and learn my lesson!

Potty Issues

Well, we had a terrific Memorial Day weekend. We had some special family time together and Sean was able to get a lot done on his shop. Monday afternoon we spent shopping (trying to finish decorating prior to the arrival of our second child). We continue to pray about whether or not to take Ciara with us. My reaction to one of the vaccinations concerns us a little, but then I am allergic to about everything, so it isn't a big surprise either. The biggest thing that hit us in the face on Monday, however was the time spent in an enclosed area (the van, which is so roomy compared to an airplane) with a 33 month old and potty issues. I honestly think that God gave Ciara an extra burst of energy to give us a glimpse of what a 22-33 hour (or more depending on layovers) plane ride would be like. I've never, ever, ever heard Ciara talk so much. It was constant questions, comments, and imaginary disasters to avoid with imaginary people (and we were only gone about 7 hours). On top of the constant talking, singing, and questions, there were the potty issues. We stopped somewhere along the way to get a drink, and Ciara downed hers. Well, of course, nature took its course and before long, she told us she had to go potty. Sean took her to the bathroom the first time and she immediately changed her mind and said she would wait until she got home. A little while later, almost in tears and a jog, she told me she had to go. She didn't want to sit on the toilet, but I made her, as we had no change of clothes and she was crying to go to the bathroom, I figured she couldn't possibly hold it any longer. She sat there and refused to go. We then hit Target and she went to her Daddy again, begging to go to the bathroom. Seeing as Sean can move much quicker than I can, he took off jogging with her to the bathrooms (all three so far have been remarkably clean). I can only imagine what people thought. They made it in the bathroom and then she refused again. We then went to eat, our final stop on this journey. While I was getting my food, she managed to get Sean to take her again--this time she refused and Sean said he wouldn't have let her use that one. So then Ciara and I are sitting at the table and Sean is getting his food. She starts squirming all in her chair and starts begging me to take her. Both Sean and I had about had our limit thus far and so I calmly told her that if we entered that bathroom, we were not coming out until she went to potty. Then I went jogging through the Chinese restaurant and plopped her down on that seat so quick she didn't have time to react. She finally went. When we got back to the table, she loudly told the whole restaurant "I did it." Now, you may ask what all of this has to do with thinking about taking Ciara to Ethiopia. Well, we've been informed that 1) carry your own toilet paper. It is not provided and it costs a lot for a few squares, 2) use the bathroom at your hotel before you go anywhere and 3) public restrooms outside of the capital often consists of little more than a trough. Sean and I just laughed and laughed a what Ciara would have to say about such a toilet.

Questions Answered

Yesterday we received our notice that USCIS had received our I 600 A (the petition you must file with immigrations to begin the process to gain approval to adopt an orphan from another country). It will still be awhile before we receive notice about our fingerprinting appointments from USCIS (we have to travel to Charlotte for those). We are hoping for appointments some time in July. Our progress has been slow this week, but we are remaining steady. We were able to get our criminal background checks for our homestudy, Sean got his physical exam (I had mine back in April), and we both received our statements from our doctor regarding our overall health (which has to be redone because the notary's commission expires in August). I had a reaction to one of the two vaccinations I received, which thankfully was only a local reaction (although my arm has hurt all week). I'm hoping the rest of my vaccinations go smoothly.

Ciara continues to pray for her brother and sister, although we have just requested one. She is remaining firm that she is getting a sister, but we repeatedly explain to her that it is about who God has planned for us as a family. Which brings me to answering the many questions we have received--do you know if it will be a boy or a girl, when do you think you will get them, do you have to travel, and why on earth Ethiopia? First of all, Sean and I spent a lot of time discussing and praying about whether to specify a boy or a girl. In the end, we are standing by faith that God is sovereign and completely in control, and we would much rather He decide how to build our family than the two of us. Statistically speaking, there are more boys available for adoption, but there have been a number of prayers offered up for a little sister, so we will all have to wait and see who God is/has created for our family. I'll answer the next two questions together. No, we don't have to travel to Ethiopia, but we want to. Ethiopia is one of the countries that allows families to have the child escorted back to the US. However, we both feel strongly that we need to have some time to experience our child's birth country, their customs and culture, their people, to see the orphanage where our child stayed, etc. We know in the long run that all of this will be important for those questions that our child will have later in life. Our agency has never had (according to the person that we talked with) a family request to meet any of the birth family, but we are hoping and praying that this will be a possibility for us. We realize all to clearly that with extreme poverty and disease, we may only have one opportunity to meet our child's birth family and to gain some valuable information for him/her. As far as when we may travel, Ethiopian adoptions can take anywhere from 6-8 months. We submitted all of our initial paperwork on May 10, 2007, so we are hoping to travel somewhere around the end of this year or the beginning of 2008. Generally, it takes about 3-4 months to complete your homestudy, dossier, get your passports, etc. After that, it is about 1-2 months until you get a referral, then you accept or reject the referral, a court date is set, and you typically travel about 2-4 weeks after your court date. Of course, with international adoptions, there are all sorts of events that can take place to slow down or halt the process. Lastly, given that our first adoption was a domestic adoption, many people have asked why Ethiopia? I don't think that either one of us can state 100% why, but it is more like we can't say no. We both feel that in the US, an agency will be able to find a family for an infant regardless of race or other conditions. We simply aren't ready to do foster care due to Ciara's age and that reunification with the birth family is the goal of foster care (at least in NC). For the past year, we have kept checking into adoptions from Ethiopia. The more we have learned, the more our hearts have been drawn to the children of this country. For us, the reality that adoption for many of them may be the difference between life and death really hit us hard. We realize that with 4-5 million orphans (some sites state more), one child won't make much of a difference, but it certainly will for that child and so our journey began.

One Day at a Time

This has been some week and it is only Tuesday. I took Ciara to the doctor yesterday for her asthma. The doctor said that in addition to her wheezing, she also has the croup, so she has been pretty uncomfortable. I praise God for giving me a job where I have so much flexibility and can be at home with her for all of her treatments and special cuddle time. We are slowly continuing to make progress on our paperwork. Yesterday we were able to mail off a chunk of paperwork to our agency (for the homestudy) and our FBI fingerprint cards to the FBI (part of the dossier) and that was about it for any progress on this adoption. I thought that I was going to be able to start getting some of our dossier documents authenticated with the Secretary of State, but we received an email late last night stating that both of our letters need to be redone.

I've shared with many of you that I don't know of anything that has grown me in my faith like Ciara's adoption. I'm so thankful for these opportunities where God uses everyday events to draw us nearer to Him. I don't know how we (or anyone) could go through this process without God, because quite honestly, it gets a bit overwhelming and frustrating to keep having to back track and redo documents. This experience is definitely humbling me in that I'm getting a real dose of what all the families I work with have to go through (for those of you who don't know what I do, I am the Director of Social Services for AWAA of NC, a Christian international adoption agency). Last night, I was driving home with Ciara, and I was talking with her about all the things in the world that God has made for us to enjoy. We talked about the trees, the birds, family and friends that He has given us, and the sunset. She then asked me if God painted the sunset. I told her that it is kind of like He does and that He creates one for us to look at everyday. Thinking back on our conversation last night, I can't help but think of Psalm 139 and how God is or has created a child specifically for our family, that He has/will know that child in his/her mother's womb, and that He knows all of his/her days before they come to be. From the sunsets He gives us to the unique masterpieces He creates when He creates each of us, He truly is an amazing Creator!

This morning, Sean and I were able to get our bloodwork completed for the adoption and our TB skin tests (Mom stayed home and loved on Ciara). We also got started on our vaccinations, receiving our Hepatitis A (we both already have had the Hep B vaccines) and the Meningococcal (menigitis) vaccine (about $100/person that the insurance doesn't cover, so it had better work!). Since we will be staying in Addis Ababa, the capital city, we (and our doctor) feel pretty safe that we shouldn't have to worry about rabies. Because of Sean's work, he has already been vaccinated, so I have warned him that he will have to be the one to deal with any rabid animals on this adventure. Because of the strict documentation that is required for the yellow fever vaccine, we're going to have to call around to try to find a clinic that has it . We'll get our typhoid vaccine and start taking antimalarial meds after we get a court date (which is months down the road).

Psalm 139: 1-16

1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. 5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, ^[a] you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

The Paper Pregnancy

Well, we are busy at work on what is called our paper pregnancy this afternoon. We are getting ready to submit a big chunk of paperwork for our homestudy and a number of documents to be reviewed for our dossier. We are both anxious to get this paperwork done before summer vacation time hits. I gave Sean his birthday presents early (an Ethiopian travel guide, an autobiography of an Ethiopian refugee who grew up in America and graduated from Harvard, an Amharic phrasebook, and some history book about the political system of Ethiopia over the past 100 years). First of all, I don't think we will get any of those phrases down and be able to pronounce them correctly with our Southern accents, but we are going to try. The guidebook has been very humorous. We've learned a lot about the culture and customs (i.e., you are only supposed to eat with your right hand, as in the Muslim culture, the left hand is used for personal hygiene only, at meals, it is customary for your server to feed you the first bite, and that there is an Ethiopian delicacy called kitfo (raw ground beef, minimally heated, not cooked, and covered with seasoned butter) which we do not plan on trying. We will be responsible for arranging our own travel plans and lodging. We've discovered that you can, if you dare, survive on $10 US per day, including meals and lodging. Sean has tremendously enjoyed telling me about the various places we can stay. I'm holding out for the Hilton. The Sheraton (which has a villa that costs $8,000/night) is renowned as the best hotel in all of Africa, but it is out of our price range. We do hope to see what all the hype is about though. Please continue to keep us in your prayers!

God at work.

It never ceases to amaze me how God puts people in our paths. I was conducting a home visit today for a family adopting from China. In the course of my interviewing them, they asked about taking there three kids with them to China. I talked with them about the pros and cons and what other families had shared. In the end, I told them that they needed to pray about it and make the decision that was right for there family. I shared with them that this was something that Sean and I are praying about and that we are adopting from Ethiopia. They just smiled and said, "We've actually been to Ethiopia." My jaw dropped. They told me a little about the food (I think a trip to Ethiopia will be a great diet plan for me), traveling, the people and the culture. In the end, they said that they wouldn't have any hesitations about taking a 3 year old with them to Addis Ababa (where we would be staying). Now, if we were trekking across in the bush, that would be a different story, but you all know that this is a big enough adventure for our family without the bush experience. This family was very open to us talking with them more as we gather questions. We're just praising God for putting this family in our paths.

Passport photos or mug shots?

Well, we got most of the things accomplished today that we wanted to. We were able to get all three of our passports ordered. I took a few practice photos of Ciara before we headed to the Post Office for our appointment and explained to her what we needed the photos for. She is going through a phase where she is camera shy. When we got there, she wasn't about to let them take her picture, but I reminded her that we had to have them made in order to be able to adopt her brother or sister from Ethiopia. She agreed to sit on the stool, but she would not smile for the camera and so her picture looks a great deal like a mugshot of a child who got caught stealing candy. Of course, as a mom, you never really think about all the ways a child can interpret your comments, so after getting our pictures made, Ciara thought that we were getting her baby sister today at the post office. That would be so much quicker and less tiring! I am thoroughly excited about my passport photo--I love that camera. Somehow I have a great tan, which if you know me is an impossible feat. (For those who are wondering, we are praying about whether to take Ciara to Ethiopia with us, but we decided to go ahead and get her passport since they take about 12 weeks to process now.)

Getting started with the lady doing our passports was quite amusing. First, she asked us where Ciara's biological parents were. We just smiled and said that we were her parents and then after a brief pause, we explained that Ciara was adopted. I quickly explained that I had all the documentation that she would need, and she seemed quite relieved. After explaining that we needed the passports for an adoption from Ethiopia, she then paused and said, "I just have to ask. How will you know that they are her siblings?" Sean just said, "Oh, we know they won't be." She seemed a little confused, but we'll let her figure it out in time. As she got to talking with us and seeing us interact as a family, she really warmed up and hopefully began to see the rich blessings that God gives families through adoption.

After the passport appointments, we headed to the Courthouse to obtain criminal record checks and our fingerprints for the FBI clearance. The computer system was down for the criminal record checks, but we were able to be fingerprinted. We had to actually go down to the county jail with inmates walking alongside of us. Children were not allowed, so I went in first and then we traded off. It took quite a while, but part of it was that I got to talking to the lady who fingerprinted me. She asked about Ciara's race and then proceeded to tell me that she is Puertorican, African American, and Caucasian and was adopted. Well, being an adoptive parent and a social worker, I had lots of questions and the two of us had a nice talk. When she walked me out and I took Ciara, Sean rolled his eyes at me (meaning he knew that I had been chatting). However, when he came out (which was a good while later), he said he felt like they had known each other their whole lives. It is amazing how adoption opens up conversations and experiences with people that you ordinary wouldn't have such conversations. The highlight of this adventure for Ciara was seeing a policeman drive through the security door with a "bad guy."

The Journey has begun!

Well, the journey to bring home our child from Ethiopia has begun. On May 10th, we sent off our I 600 A to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services and received our application for our International Agency. Our I 600 A was received in Charlotte on May 11 and now the long wait to receive fingerprinting appointments begins. In the meantine, we are busy getting all of our paperwork together to have our homestudy completed and to compile our dossier (the big set of documents that proves we are who we say we are, that we are fit to be parents, etc.). Tomorrow we are scheduled to apply for our passports, to get our criminal record checks, and to be fingerprinted for a FBI check (so they can ask us about those speeding tickets). We hope that you will follow us in our journey. Please keep us in your prayers, along with our child that we haven't yet seen, but whom we already love.