Sunday, July 27, 2008
On the verge of an emotional breakdown
First of all, this post has nothing to do with our adoption. However, I do feel as though I am on the verge of an emotional breakdown. My mother-in-law called tonight to say that my sister-in-law had gotten a new job, but that we could not go to the beach the week that we had planned next year since someone else already had that week off. So, we were in the process of figuring out what weeks would work. I jokingly mentioned that we could just move it to later in August or sometime in September. I'm all for cheaper rates and cooler weather. Well my normally loving and sensitive husband had the nerve to shatter my fantasy world (which I didn't know I was living in). He had the nerve to matter of factly tell me that the boys (our nephews) would be in school, and "Besides, she (meaning Ciara) might be in school." Still oblivious to reality, I was thinking, "you mean she can't miss a week of preschool. I know it is great, but it is preschool." He further pushed me to the edge, when seeing that I wasn't getting it, he added, "You do realize that she may well be in kindergarten next year, right?" With what I'm sure was a rather dumb look for several minutes, I liked to have died when I put it all together. You see, my baby girl will be turning 4 this Thursday, July 31st. Logically, most parents would have realized that she would be old enough to start kindergarten next year. However, I guess I have been rather emphatically denying all reason or logic and instead have clung to the belief that Ciara will not be entering kindergarten next year or maybe even after that. After my heart and respiration rates slowed down and the tears had dried, I maybe not so politely (but in a joking way) told my husband that I didn't think she would be entering school next year and that we might home school after all. All he had to say was "Well, you're not teaching her math and I would have to give her some pop quizzes." He still can't believe that I'm just realizing the inevitable--my baby girl is growing up.
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